Letting Go

I probably will read this to myself a trillion times, and with hope you'll just have to read it once and change your life.

I am happy and angry. I am kind and mean. Let me just.....Provide some Hindsight.

You just CAN NOT PLEASE EVERYONE! I mean you can gone ahead and try to please everyone but I am not wasting my precious time, any longer. For what? To be hurt, confused, and feeling unfortunate? If you can't see me for me you shouldn't see me at all. Actually if I could disappear out of your world I WOULD! See I've spent a long time trying to understand why people can't understand me. I sure can answer that question now, "Fuck Them". They don't see out of my brown eyes and they damn sure don't walk with my big hips. I wanted to make everyone happy and see everyone smile. The pressure was so tough as a teenager because we want to be what people see us as.Wise man once told me, "Lanaylove, you don't need nobody! Only person you can be accountable for is you because that's the one thing that can't take". This was the day I put me, in front of them, and saw her. I'll be respectful and loving because that's how my geniune heart was designed. But at the end of the day the real questions are..

• Who are you to judge me?
• Who died and made you king of anything?
• Why should I change me for people who don't love me?
• Why conduct myself in a way that is beneath me to retain your interest?

I soon learned that it would be impossible for me to try to fit in with such weak people. When I was younger they wanted me sound more.."white" because of my diverse skin tone. Being pressured into fitting in can make a person feel lonely. I started to feel like an outcast and I questioned myself. I started buying expensive clothes with small earnings..I started buying long weave and straightening my curls..I replaced all that made me unique for everything that makes you all the same.

 Insecurites are REAL! Did you hear me? You never know what someone is going through. So for you to feel like your comment is so GODLY that you just had to speal it is disgusting. So in order to let go and forgive yourself for falling victim...You, RIGHT NOW, Need to cleanse. If you're the smartest, most confident,in the room, walk away. If you're the lowest, saddest , because of your peers, walk away. It takes nothing but a few steps to walk away from what is hinduring you. They can't hold you back forever.......So stop kissing ass, You don't have to do this...You're better than that!

But only if you're ready to let it go.

-Lanaylove